Stupid Names for Pets

Today, in Melbourne no less, where pets matter more than people, we saw a sign on a post seeking information about a lost chook. Yes, a chook.

What was amazing about this notice? You will not believe this. No, you will, because contributors to le random rant are believers in the stupidity of all mankind, except for the oter contributors to le random rant. We are told, on this notice, that the missing chook answers to the name "chook chook".

Now what chance has a grieving owner of having their pet shunning false claims of familiarity by giving it such an OBVIOUS name? A few crumbs of wheat or corn, a tentative try at a name "chook chook", and in a flash the catch is in the bag and whisked away to a new home. It is, after all, just a chook, and cannot be expected to understand that a perfect stranger could possibly know its name.

So, here's a tip. If you have a pet chook, call it "Urang utan", and if if you happen to have a pet Urang utan, call it "chook chook". In the case of the Urang utan, not only may you save it falling for a false owner, there is a good chance that, upon being referred to as a chook,it will grab the thief and take it up into a Palm tree and teach it a lesson or two, before unwrapping and relaxing under the cardboard box that was supposed to be its temporary prison.